The late night hosts are having a field day with the Matt Gaetz controversy, which continues to look even worse for the Florida congressman as news of his preemptive pardon request broke earlier this week. On last night’s episode of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, the host gave his own take on the sex scandal rocking the political world, seizing the chance to roast Gaetz — who is under investigation for allegedly violating sex trafficking laws and engaging in sexual acts with a teenage girl — like never before.
“Gaetz wanted a preemptive pardon for any illegal activity he’s ever done, like innocent people do,” Stephen Colbert began, per The Daily Beast. “And he had reason to believe he might get that pardon because of his close relationship to the former president.”
Launching into an excerpt from Gaetz’s recently released book, Firebrand, Colbert read from a segment in which Gaetz says former president Donald Trump would call him at all hours, even when he was “on the throne, on airplanes, and in the club.” In response, Colbert joked, “The president has called me everywhere: while I was lurking in the bushes of a high school, while I was making fake IDs, even while I was tutoring my girlfriend for the SATs.” In reaction to Gaetz’s claims that he even answered a call from Trump while “in the throes of passion,” Colbert said, “Thinking about Matt Gaetz having sex, I’m in the throws of up.”
Although Gaetz asked for a pardon before Trump left office, he was denied because Trump’s lawyers said it would set “a bad precedent,” per The New York Times. “Do you know how shady you have to be for number 45’s lawyers to go, ‘No, that’s a bad look?'” Colbert asked. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I just farted on camera, my head is leaking and I’m late for my press conference outside the crematorium dildo shop,” he joked, seemingly referencing Trump’s attorney Rudy Giuliani.
Colbert also snuck in a dig about Gaetz’s upcoming gig giving a speech at an event hosted by a conservative women’s group and held at Trump’s golf course. “You could say that’s putting the fox in the henhouse, but Gaetz would rather hang out with the eggs,” he said, adding, “His speech is part of a gala dinner which has a theme of ‘Americana, featuring BBQ, boots, and bluegrass.’ Not to be confused with Gaetz’s usual theme of ‘Molly, minors, and mandatory minimums.'”
While the group faced backlash for booking Gaetz, “they defended the decision, and called Gaetz a ‘fearless leader in D.C.,'” Colbert explained. “Yes, Gaetz fears nothing, except the parents of whoever he’s texting.”
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert airs weeknights at 11:50/10:50c on CBS. Watch the full segment from last night’s show in the video above.
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